Its so weird.
One moment, up. Yet another moment, down.
These feelings of upset and sadness...could be attributed to lack of sleep or insecurity or having no self confidence or having little faith or uncertainty about the intentions of the other party or unbalanced hormones or 'that-time-of-the-month' (four times a month? I don't think so) or thyroid glands.
As much as I try not to bring it up, it does come out. Not through my own design or intentions, but more like it just gushes out...pintu-pagar sudah rosak.
Then it looks like I'm just pushing for it to happen, forcing the issue without consideration for the other party. If you know what I mean.
In the meanwhile, I keep sensing that there is not much time left for it to happen. Either it will happen soon or someone else will take my place, whether through choice or circumstance.
Am keeping myself busy with a lot of things these days, so that I don't keep thinking and wishing too much for it. At this point in time, I don't really mind burning myself out.
Anything to avoid those sad thoughts and feelings from welling up again.
One moment, up. Yet another moment, down.
These feelings of upset and sadness...could be attributed to lack of sleep or insecurity or having no self confidence or having little faith or uncertainty about the intentions of the other party or unbalanced hormones or 'that-time-of-the-month' (four times a month? I don't think so) or thyroid glands.
As much as I try not to bring it up, it does come out. Not through my own design or intentions, but more like it just gushes out...pintu-pagar sudah rosak.
Then it looks like I'm just pushing for it to happen, forcing the issue without consideration for the other party. If you know what I mean.
In the meanwhile, I keep sensing that there is not much time left for it to happen. Either it will happen soon or someone else will take my place, whether through choice or circumstance.
Am keeping myself busy with a lot of things these days, so that I don't keep thinking and wishing too much for it. At this point in time, I don't really mind burning myself out.
Anything to avoid those sad thoughts and feelings from welling up again.
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