Turning 30 does things to one's mind.
Things that I thought would not bother me, bothers me greatly now.
Like getting married at 30 to the one I truly love. I never knew that it could eat so thoroughly into one's heart. I put that to false expectations on hints of hope. Also never knew how such hinting could deeply pain one either.
Of late, anything that requires my help or opinion, I freely give, but I have to mentally condition myself to understand that I am helping out as a friend - no more, no less. Thinking otherwise will only result in me going beserk and ready for the nut houses of our beloved country (which, if you haven't noticed, is waaaaay overpopulated and understaffed).
Have been thinking the issue over the whole of today, and just surrendered that expectation to God.. what a relief!
I know that anything that happens from this day forth...good or bad, beginning or ending, it will all be in God's mighty hands.
There is joy and peace within me: knowing that He is always by my side, loving and caring for me even during my darkest moments.
I love you, Lord. :)
Things that I thought would not bother me, bothers me greatly now.
Like getting married at 30 to the one I truly love. I never knew that it could eat so thoroughly into one's heart. I put that to false expectations on hints of hope. Also never knew how such hinting could deeply pain one either.
Of late, anything that requires my help or opinion, I freely give, but I have to mentally condition myself to understand that I am helping out as a friend - no more, no less. Thinking otherwise will only result in me going beserk and ready for the nut houses of our beloved country (which, if you haven't noticed, is waaaaay overpopulated and understaffed).
Have been thinking the issue over the whole of today, and just surrendered that expectation to God.. what a relief!
I know that anything that happens from this day forth...good or bad, beginning or ending, it will all be in God's mighty hands.
There is joy and peace within me: knowing that He is always by my side, loving and caring for me even during my darkest moments.
I love you, Lord. :)
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