Seis

"Hey big boy...wake up!"

B5 groaned. Where had he heard that before? An insistent prodding on his back told him that his sensory faculties were functioning 100%.

"Hey...wake up!"

B5 sighed. So much for getting that needed rest. He opened his eyes to assess his environment and saw Lollipop's face up close. So close that their noses nearly touched.

"Gaa! Don't do that!" B5 jumped.

"Okay, okay... I'm sorry!" said Lollipop.

B5 looked around to see where he was, and discovered that he was in a cosy and dark cave. Well, dark except for the part where Lollipop's fairy glow bounced off.

"What happened? Where am I?" B5 asked.

"You passed out. From a punch in the face by Mai-Noot. You are now in my cavern (that's cave to you, in case you didn't know)" Lollipop monotoned. "And by the way... you quit your job as of this morning."

"I did WHAT?" B5 exclaimed.

"You quit your job".

"Did NOT! I didn't even go to the scribe to ink it on parchment!"

"Okay, so I did it for you. Big deal. Now quit being a huffy cry-baby and let's think of what to do next and will you please stop calling yourself B5? Your name is LAW-RENCE."

Through his grumbling, Lawrence managed to show a peep of gratitude, realising the wonderful opportunities that lie ahead of him. But...what should he do next? What can he expect? Suddenly, his world shrank again.

Lollipop beamed.

"Don't worry, Lawrence... I'm here for you, remember? We are a team, we can make it through this!"

'Right..." he thought sarcastically, 'fat much a skinny nothing and a glowing pip of a fairy can do against the horrible world out there'.

"Excuse me!" Lollipop was miffed. "Do you think I stick around because I personally like listening to your negative thoughts? I am here because the Upper-Upper assigned me to you. If you think no one can help with your situation, then YES, no one can."

Lollipop left in a fairy-like huff.

'Strange' thought Lawrence, 'I never knew fairies took things personally'.

YOU THINK THAT'S STRANGE?

'Huh?' Lawrence was startled by the voice. He surveyed the cave... and found no one.

'STRANGE' IS THE PERSON WHO THINKS HE CAN'T DO IT. 'STRANGE' IS THE PERSON WHO SHUNS HELP BECAUSE HE BELIEVES THAT NO ONE CAN HELP. THAT'S STRANGE.

"Who's there?" he asked aloud.

UPPER-UPPER, WHO ELSE?

'I didn't know the Upper-Upper was a lady'

WHY... DID YOU THINK OTHERWISE?

The voice laughed before fading into oblivion.

Now Lawrence felt a wee bit scared.

Cinco

"Hey big boy... wake up!"

B5 stirred from his stupor. He felt... a bit...dizzy. Somewhere within the canals of his ears, several large bells were clanging furiously, sending shock waves to the thing in between his ears.

Through his blurry vision, he could see that the rest of the troop were gathered around him, concern contorting their faces.

Less the ever-present Mai-Noot, that is.


The troop began talking all at once. Making the ringing in his ears louder (and more echo-ey).


"What happened, man?"

"Ya blacked-out or something?"

"You crazy or what? You don't get a bloody nose from black-outs!"

"Chill, dude..."

"Yeah... let's help B5 up. What can we do now?"


The men paused for a while, thinking hard.


"We could use the first aid kit...." B3 suggested. "My mum used to put a cold compress on my bloody cuts to stop the bleeding and swelling".

"Okay...get the cold compre....hang on a sec..." said B1 "Do we even have a first aid kit in the first place?"

"Err...guys... I think it hasn't been invented yet." B4 cautioned. "Just like the ICE (In Case of Emergency) numbers."

"Hnh? I thought everyone has that" countered B3.

"Dude...this is different. Your mum's a Druid-Wizard! We're just hirelings!" snapped B1.

"Sorrrrrreeeeeeeyyy... how was I to know?" B3 whined.

"Uh...okay then...what else can we use?" B2 quickly asked, breaking the mounting tension.

"We could use some Juniper berry pulp in cool stream water..." offered B3.

B1 eyed B3 suspiciously. "What's Juniper? Do we even have that here?"

"Aren't they used as spice or something?" quipped B2. "Like in 500 years time?"

"Good grief, men! Find something that can work right now!" yelled B1 in panic and exasperation.


The troop quickly scattered and scurried about, looking for something... anything that may work as a compress.


"Found something!" B3 triumphantly held up a stretch of bright pink coarse silk in his right hand, and a chunk of ice from the middling stream in his left.


The troop reconverged.


"Think that'll work?"

"Worth a try."

"Let's do it then!"


By the time they returned their full attention to B5, he had passed out and (briefly) recovered his senses a grand total of four (4) times, vomited some watery fluid, and performed a quick Quidicilly dance before returning to unconsciousness.

Cuatro

"Pssst..."


Bleary-eyed, B5 looked up from his parchment he was working at since dawn.

It was Mai-Noot, grinning from ear-to-ear.

"Whassup?" B5 sighed.

"Nah... just wanted to chat"

B5 hesistated. Mai-Noot has never "just wanted to chat".

B5 turned his full attention to Mai-Noot.

And blacked-out from the full impact of Mai-Noot's (surprisingly) hefty punch in his face.

Tres

"You know..." a gentle female voice whispered. "You don't have to take in all he says about you - its not true at all!"

'Huh?'

B5 looked around the cave. Besides the SRD and himself, there was no one else around.

Strange.

Odder still, SRD's voice began to grow faint, barely audible to him.

"Over here, you silly thing" chuckled the voice.

Turning to the direction of the voice, he saw her... a fairy! A pretty little glowing thing with wings, dressed in a tiny gossamer frock.

'Wow!' thought B5. 'A real live fairy!'

"Yes I am. Now, don't get overexcited or he will notice me" smiled the fairy while winking playfully at him.

"OH!" the fairy shrieked. "How thoughtless of me, to forget to introduce myself! My name is Lollipop, and I am your fairy from this day forth 'til...well.... until I'm no longer of use to you."

'Lollipop? What sort of name is that? Doesn't sound very fairy-like to me'

"Hey!" countered Lollipop. "Fairies are given names...I don't have the liberty of choosing my name, you know."

'Oh.. sorry' thought B5 apologetically.

"And I don't like the way I look either... given a chance, I'd wear T-shirts and jeans any ol' day, instead of this silly looking standard-issue dress. Bleargh!"

B5 laughed in his head. 'What sort of expression is that?'

Lollipop gave him a piercing don't-you-even-think-of-going-there look. "Be serious, Lawrence. I am here to help you, not be mocked by you."

Lawrence.

He hasn't heard that name for a long time now. How it rolls off other people's tongues, the way its two-syllables sound as people attempt to stick them together but end up calling him lawe reans.

That was the name his parents gave him, right after he was born.

And now his identity is B5 - nothing more, nothing less.

What happened?

"That's what I'm here for, dear" chirped Lollipop. "To help you remember that there's more to your life and the world than this kingdom. Oh...time for me to go and report to the Upper-Upper! See you later!"

In a blink of an eye and a poppity-pop, Lollipop was no where to be seen.

He smiled as he recalled her (pretty wordy) parting words.

Remember this Lawrence: I am here for you, even when you don't see my physical form.

Dos

"B5!" yelled SRD from inside his cave, his coarse voice bouncing off the walls and echoing throughout the kingdom.

No answer.

His blood boiling quickly (as usual), SRD drew in a harder breath and let loose a scream that echoed throughout the kingdom - the type that could have done any banshee-in-training proud.

"B5! Where the HELL are you? What the f*$# is wrong with you people? Ahh... its so damn hard to get good help these days... you young people know next to nothing... what do they teach you people in school anyway? Your parents didn't teach you anything about life! I tell you... people these days..why are you all so stupid!!"

A steady, soft plodding could be heard at the entrance of the cave.

"You hollered for me.... Sir?" a steady voice asked, cleverly masking the owner's anger at the SRD's words.

"Yes, you idiot!" spat SRD viciously, nostrils flaring and eyes blazing with anger.

"Whassup?"

"Take a LOOK yourself!!" SRD screamed while throwing a fairly large parchment into the general direction of B5's scrawny frame.

B5 calmly opened the parchment and quickly reviewed his latest masterpiece. And found the source of SRD's discontent...a grape juice stain the size of a fairy's fist.

"That's strange...how did that stain get there?" mused B5 aloud.

"How would I know?" "All I know that you f#&*#$ *% big time AGAIN, you FOOL! Simple thing like that also dunno... what the #W$&*%@*#$(*%#^$#*!!"

"Okay... I'll redo the thing...don't freak out" sighed B5.

"You'd better, and in double-quick time, you @##$*(^(#%)&*($^&!!!!!!!"

And the SRD continued ranting and swearing at our poor hero for a good two hours.


Poor guy.

Uno

Important Note to Reader: This story, although fictitious, lends from past experiences, and some parts are obviously, made up and/or exaggerated. Characters do not refer to any particular individual, dead or alive. If it does, and you do feel a pinch... well, do something about it.

* * *

The shiny rainbow dragon (SRD) was at it again.

No kidding...anything within his vicinity that wasn't bolted down, ricocheted around his glamorously decorated cave, powered by his not-so-pent-up fury.
Furious (and rather silly) words tossed around like salad and vinaigrette-mustard sauce in a wooden bowl.. not caring that they cause injury to others.

So long as he feels that release.

Ahh....

Much better.


Now where did those @$#&!@# *&*%*! @#$&*$ hirelings of his disappear to?

* * *

Close by, the warriors held fast their ground.

"Whew...that was close!" exclaimed B1.

"Alaa.... biasalah" chimed B2. "You know the drill."

"I wonder if the SRD gets any kickbacks or payoffs from throwing his demonic tantrum about?" B3 quipped.

"Yah.... that's gotta be it, he has nothing else going for him anyway... he such a brainless louse!" B4 griped.

"Let's all just boycott the fella... that will teach him a lesson!" B2 countered.

"YEAH! Let's do it.. leave for another kingdom!" cheered B1

"But..." squeaked Mai-Noot, "You gotta admit that the P.U.s (Power Ups) he gives us is well worth taking all this s!@* for...plus the Kingdom is pretty well-established compared to other kingdoms... so I've heard."

"You're a wuss, Mai-Noot" barked B3. "But you are right again, in a twisted kind of way."

"Ah.. let's just surrender it to Fate." sighed B2 resignedly.

"Hey... is Fate a guy or a girl?" queried Mai-Noot.

"I dunno... does it matter?" B1 asked, raising a quizzical eyebrow at Mai-Noot.

"Well, if Fate is a chick, I wanna date her first!"

"....Uh..." B4 faltered.

"Whatever, dude." B2 rolled his eyes. The rest of the troop chuckled sarcastically.

B5 remained silent as the entire team carefully removed their emergency Kevlars before heading reluctantly back to their forts.

Nope, he is not and will not become like them...they have given up their hopes and dreams, and resigned themselves to the "fact" that they are useless-good-for-nothings who only deserve the SRD's hourly rantings. They have changed from themselves into bitter, depressed, hardened, ill-tempered and well, gossipy men. Only PUs matter now. No longer in top form, their grey matter (if one could view them) have over the years turned into something akin to over-boiled tapioca pudding.

Yuck.

He is going to move up, forward... anywhere but backward or downward.

Nothing that the SRD says - of him, his loved ones, his intellect, his beliefs, his creed.. nothing the SRD says is going to stop him from shining as his best.

He is going to create his own destiny.

Through God's will and God's grace, he definitely will.