Fitting In

Looking back at my young life, I realise that I was pretty conscious about trying to fit in the crowd. Even though I know that I was "different" (i.e. the polite term teachers used for disruptive and inattentive students), and not to mention lacked much social skills.


Over-ambitious and over-enthusiastic, I foolishly took on projects that I knew I couldn't yet fulfill. But did them anyway. It was just the desire to make my parents proud of me, which I thought that was what they wanted.

I tried fitting into the crowd by putting on a couple of guises under my personal life project of "growing up through experimentation". Pretty fake I know, for that was how I saw the world - people desiring to prove their mettle and status to others for the sake of remaining in the (social) loop.



I constantly obesessed about my weight - every pound lost was a joyous victory, every pound gained a great defeat. It didn't matter that family and friends couldn't see any difference in my physical form. What mattered were the numbers. Nope, I wasn't anorexic or bullimic. Just plain obsessed.

The "climb" (so to speak) was lonely, tough and painful most of the time.

Then I met Jesus. My life just turned all topsy-turvy (in a good way) and pieces of the puzzle just fell neatly into place. Life is much happier for I have many sincere and loving people around me. I sometimes still think that I am not good enough, not thin or attractive enough, not smart enough. But Jesus sweeps that all away with his loving embrace.


I am happy, yes. With my family, my friends and myself. Isn't God just marvelous?