Thankful Again :)

Despite the topsy-turvy emotions experienced the past years, I remain thankful to Him.

I am thankful for those have walked in and out of my life, for they have made me a better and stronger person, in ways they may not realise nor comprehend.

I am thankful for learning how to let go. Thankful too for the person who could have clung on, but had selflessly released the grip. I am loved, as are you. Much more than you'll ever realise. Thank you for praying. Keep praying - He definately has great plans for you. All in His time. :)

I am thankful for those who support and cover me with their pure undying love.

I am thankful even for the whiny ones. For they helped reflect my own weaknesses, and gain greater insight to strengths I never knew I possessed.

I am thankful to be able to witness the beauty of spiritual maturity of those close to me, and even those who are not close. My heart overflows with thankfulness and joy whenever I realise that it is purely by the grace of God that I am able to witness these precious lives transformed.
As is mine own transformation, in all my ways.

It is quite often recklessly quoted that beauty lies in the eye of the beholder. Subjugating reason that not all that appeals to the eyes, ears and emotions are true.

But there is beauty in God. For is it not God whom we behold?

Amen. :)

Giving Praise

Praise to the Lord
who is seated on the highest of thrones!
Praise to God
who brings Truth and Glory and Peace and Joy!
Praise to Jesus
who shouts not but speaks volumes into my heart!

Praise God, praise God, for all that He has done!
Praise the Lord for all the He intends to do!
Amen, Amen!

A Change Will Do You Good

So too for all of us.

Its transition time - shifting, morphing, transforming.


Its time to rise up!

Yearning

Feeling the strong pull to go back to church regularly.

Yup, I stopped 'churching' for about a month, for my studies. Not because I think I am able to stand on my own, or that I could self-church at home, or that I no longer want to be with my first love. I couldn't focus all of a sudden, and I knew I had to remove myself from the bustle (speaking of which, the bustle for me has decreased much since 3 years back).

And look what I did to myself - frazzled, sad, emotional, dry.

One more week!

Oh thank you Lord, for sustaining me thus far. Please help me through this one last week!

Amen.

Touched Lives

When my sleep gets interrupted, I often wonder if I am doing the right thing.

Am I touching lives the way Christ did (and still is), or just attempting to be a Solo Hero?

Sometimes I arrive at the brink of frustration, I do want to tell her that there is so much more in life than the issue at hand that may be big now, but nothing can compare to God and nothing is impossible for God.

I try, then I fail....and the negative post-effects continue their vicious recycle system in my mind and heart. And I do nothing to stop them - I could have sought God, I could have dwelled even more in His word, but I don't do any of this.

Instead, I fester in bitterness and start avoiding her.
She knows. She no longer calls, but has latched on others who can lend their fresh sympathetic ears.

Yet when I reflect on this, I am still very thankful for those people whom the Good Lord lead me to, who could help me out of my 'blue funk', no matter how long or short their contact with me, no matter if they still want to communicate or not.

True wisdom is really in the Lord.

Conviction Part I

Today, my Lord brought to my attention one thing I sorely lack.

I have yet to fully appreciate my father, my mother and my sister. For all that they have done for me.

Upon reflection, I am quite insensitive to my family's real wants. What they really want and need from me. I wish I could cry buckets from the tumultous currents of emotions swelling within my breast, but I cannot.

Its the dam of Emotion at the brink of bursting... waiting to surge forth, but a solid bubble prevents it from creating tidal waves within the depths of my soul.

I so wish and pray to feel proper human emotions again. Anything that is, besides anger and irritation.

Truly Lord, I do.

One Cannot Love

When one is not loved.

Our scope and perception of love is so limited, even for us who are saved, those who 'know' how much Jesus sacrificed for us as He hung on the cross at Calvary.

We know all these in our minds, but what about our hearts?

All I know is that my scope of love is narrow still, in comparison to His.

A Start of Something New...

Praise the Lord for this new insight. :)

Now prayerfully submitting to perform the task....may things blossom in the Lord from here.

Praise God. n_n

YES! :)

Finally, absolutely totally out of it!

*victorious jig*

Praise the Lord! :)

Now to remain calm and indifferent IF nasty words are said again.

Wheee!! n_n

I'm Not Afraid of No Ghost

The pounding worry in my heart turned out to be nothing but several challenging matters. Yep, I'm just being the melodramatic queen.

All will be done in God's time, with Him by my side. n_n

Falling Back to God

Just read through my past blog entries, and how certain events affected me enough to change me from cheerful to depressed, from focused to silly, from certain to fearing.

How funny (when one thinks from the logical side), that through it all God is always present in my life and I mention His name frequently (though less frequent of late).

Praise the Lord. :)

Peace at Last

You know that point in time, space and emotion where you are totally at peace over certain situations?

I reached that point recently.

Not because I felt that I am 'holier' or better than others.

I guess I just reached complete acceptance and gained real closure over that silly event.

Giving thanks and praise to the Lord for healing my heart and re-filling it with love, joy and hope! n_n

Focus!!

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.
Phillipians 4:8

Yes, that's what I need to do right now.

Its Not Worth

The heartache

The chest pains

The papilations

The grief


O LORD my GOD, when will it all change?

Gong Xi Gong Xi!

Happy Chinese New Year! n_n

The Future?

Honestly, I can't see it at the moment.

In between ups and downs and highs and lows and feeling feelings and feeling emptiness, the future has been blurred drastically.
Its like I woke up one fine morning to discover that I have myopia of -10.00.

But through it all, joy remains.

Praise the Lord. :)

Giving Thanks in the Midst of Uncertainty

PRAISE

the

LORD!

Annoying Cold

Apart from that, I've been pampered and spoiled rotten for the past few days. n_n

Defeated? Think Again.

When things seem to turn for the worse

When people from your past resurface

When hurtful and untrue rumours & gossip abound

When some start imposing their ideas of what and who you should be

When people avoid you because you are 'special', or think you can read their minds

When some do not want to hear a word that you have to say

When people talk and laugh at you behind your back, and then quickly turn the other cheek to say a 'sincere' hello when you are around

When self-righteous people tell you how bad you are for others, how 'stubborn' you are, or what bad habits you have (even though they do it all the time).


Are you defeated?
Think again.


You cry a little

You die many times over

You reassess your life
and see only those who are important in your life

You see yourself changing
for the better
under God's loving hand.

:)

Here It Comes Again

Just when I thought it was tucked safely in the annals of the past, that feeling made a swift comeback.

It all started with moi feeling restless, listless and troubled.



Then one of my girlfriends asked "So when are you getting hitched?"


Pain.


And bit sad.


Replied somewhere along the lines of "up to the other half" before mentally shutting down (Well, of course it was an innocent question on her part. She is a lovely person).


Trying to distract myself from further thoughts of gloom and doom, I leisurely flipped the pages of today's extra-thick newspaper.


Then...




...............




....................




........................






I saw today's extra-special pullout.



Ruthlessly blaring an eye-popping photo of silver against purple from its front cover:





Maggie: God the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit help me! :(