Are We Done Yet?

These past weeks saw me working up myself into a fine big P-a-n-i-c, as I started imagining boogeymen endings for things that have not been done yet.

Exams: I'm gonna fail! No time to study (busy panicking mah)! Haven't covered the chapters properly!
Wedding: We're gonna limp through the ceremony without alot of things, and no presiding Pastor to marry us! *cue dramatic music*
New home: Its still a mess!
Everything else in the world: Its just all WRONG!


The actual state of my mind was clearly questionable, as I flitted from one minor panic to another (and another) until they cluttered my mind and heart (resulting in seriously real episodes of 'omgithinkimgoingtofaintnow') to the point of exploding.

But with a little bit of quality rest and clear mindedness, everything falls into place...

Exams: Do my best and stop wasting time panicking! Even if I did fail the test, I will re-sit until my ICSA is completed.
Marriage: What me worry? The hall deco may go up in flames, no presiding Pastor takper...because God is here with us, emotions may go into a sudden funk, but what the hey.... its our 'big day', so what? We're getting married (yay)!
Home: I did what I could earlier, the rest is his problem for now. Lols.
Everything else in the world: Nothing was ever perfect in the first place, we do our own bit to improve our living, relationships and planet.

Not too bad after all, eh? :)


Now on to the kitchen! Panic takes up loads of energy. :p

Gong Xi Gong Xi!

Happy Chinese New Year! n_n

Here It Comes Again

Just when I thought it was tucked safely in the annals of the past, that feeling made a swift comeback.

It all started with moi feeling restless, listless and troubled.



Then one of my girlfriends asked "So when are you getting hitched?"


Pain.


And bit sad.


Replied somewhere along the lines of "up to the other half" before mentally shutting down (Well, of course it was an innocent question on her part. She is a lovely person).


Trying to distract myself from further thoughts of gloom and doom, I leisurely flipped the pages of today's extra-thick newspaper.


Then...




...............




....................




........................






I saw today's extra-special pullout.



Ruthlessly blaring an eye-popping photo of silver against purple from its front cover:





Maggie: God the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit help me! :(

So Full!

Both literally and figuratively. :)

I love this long weekend! n_n

Peace at Last?

The past three days have been a sorry state, because the truth was sidestepped and my integrity and character got attacked by that person who decided to throw a smoke screen on the whole issue.

Was truly miffed, but still was advised by those who regularly deal with that person to just apologise.

I was reluctant, but did it anyway.

And felt a deep sense of peace after that (not immediately after though), knowing that all judgment ultimately belongs to my Lord.

Thanks to all my friends, my dearest Nic and my mum for their moral and emotional support. :)

So Not In The Mood

If you asked me right now whether I am sure that this is what I really want with my life, I can't.

I feel tired.

And unappreciated.

Could be just the popular 'female-mood-swing' at work.

Or not.


Need more sleep.


But first, off to the kitchen to bake a batch of cream cheese cookies. :)

Revealing the Devil

Sometimes, being too close to certain people will bring out the devil in you.

And vice-versa.

One could get angry and do an atomic bomb attack on the other, but in the name of Friendship, the truth is said out loud, then things get mended, and we live and learn from our mistakes.

Those are friendships worth keeping, I say. :)

Funky Thursday

Lesson learned yesterday: Don't EVER arrange any other appointments on Toastmasters Club nights! @_@

Due to the day's accumulated stress and preparation for our contest, I panicked over not being on time for my other appointment before my turn to speak came.

So I left.

And made a lot of my Toasties worry about me.

Maggie: Never again...

Funny Day

Well, it was something of an emotional roller-coaster. :)

1. Breakfast with family, shared jokes I learned last night - Peace & joy
2. On the way to the half-day class I was waiting for almost 4 months ago - High
3. Hear some people being sarcastic as I walked past - Slightly deflated, tried not to let it get to me by taking Pingu's advice, and.....success! :)
4. Entering the half-day class - Higher than a kite
5. Blow-BLOW-blow! - Higher than ever
6. Received sms from Pingu - happyhappy
7. Lunch & catching up with some girlfriends - relaxed, happy & calm
8. 3-minute chat with Pingu --> (n_n) happy
9. Quiet time - peace, joy & direction
10. Power nap - t.k.o.
11. After power nap - refreshed! :)
12. PCP - rejuvenated
13. Worship - Yay!
14. Sermon - awake, entertained, educated, and also went into zone-out (and moody pumpkin) mode after I heard the M-word being preached. Yeeeee....!
15. Drive home - tired, feeling a bit sick, thinking of Pingu
16. Call from A.M. about our colleague's son's death - slight shock, empathy for colleague (felt like crying over her loss), decision making mode.
17. Banking time - No feeling. xp
18. Chat with Pingu again --> (n_n) x 10PU
19. Dinner - Yummy in my tummy! :)
20. Blogging - Saja nak report. :op

Maggie: Don't kill me!

Birthday Bliss

Celebrations of my 30th (yes, I am that old) started since yesterday afternoon, with family and friends wishing me a blessed and happy one and in good ol' Asian style, treating me to a nice meal. :)

The best of the lot are, without a doubt:
i) A high-flying romantic dinner at KL Tower with my dearest last night; and
ii) A cosy dinner at Canton-i with my family earlier tonight.

Would blog more about them, but intimate details are securely locked within my heart. n_n


Tantalising, isn't it? To know so little, and wanting to know more?


Sorry dears, that's all the info I'm releasing! *cheeky grin*

Eureka!

Been in a tizzy at work for the past couple of weeks.

I keep asking myself - Why am I getting so worked up? Why am I so annoyed with her? Why am I starting to get irritated at the sound of her whiny voice (when I have friends who have whinier-sounding voices than hers)?

Then it hit me as I was driving home tonight - I have been expecting things from her without realising it! Her history, her capabilities and abilities - I have been expecting her to be what she can be at work when she doesn't have any interest to do so.

What a relief!

And very grateful for the lesson too. :)

This moment on, no expectations and treat her the way Jesus does with me and everyone else.


Why?


Because...despite her periodic (and slowly diminishing) off-tangent crazy talk & out-of-this-world statements, and her (also diminishing) inclination to attempt to tai chi work to others (and failing oh so miserably), I have grown rather fond of her.
And I do consider her a friend of sorts.


Do you believe that Jesus can heal wounded hearts? Restore broken lives? Move the insane to the right side of sanity?


I do.

Happy!

Am so glad that our study group started with another book today... can't wait for the next session! n_n

A Nice Surprise

Got a lovely christmas gift first thing this morning from R (my Manager), S and A (my two adorable colleagues).

A teddy bear! :)

A got the bar of chocolate for me in the evening.

So touched by their effort, because none of them actually celebrate Christmas. *grins*

I was told that this teddy bear was chosen because its 'fur' partially covers its eyes. It reminded them of me with my fringe covering my eyes. :p

*beams*

Remembering Dura

Shajaratuldur Suhaimi
12.06.1979 - 01.12.2008
(photo taken from Dura's FB profile)

Dura,

You were always the quiet but cheerful girl, your sweet smile permeating the kecoh-ness of our classroom.

Dilligent in your studies, patient with everyone and in every situation, loving, humble.

Being in your presence was always wonderfully peaceful, and we knew that you truly accepted your friends just as they were. No questions asked. No judgements made.

Discovering through FB that you passed away early this morning was a major shock - you left us so suddenly and too soon. No chance to pray for you, or even say goodbye.

Rest in peace, beautiful Dura.

We will miss our cheerful and loving sister so very much.

On Graduating

Graduation ceremonies...
...mark the end of a level of learning
...declare to the world that so-and-so is now recognised as MBA, Dr, etc etc


Watching family and/or friends graduate is fantastic and funtastic.

Helping out during such events is great fun.


But put Maggie up there on the stage with 1,000 odd pairs of eyes watching?


Never did like walking up the stage, smiling for the camera until my cheeks experience mini-spasms, then clutching my certificate while bumbling down the stage.

Have always felt that way, don't ask me why. If it wasn't for my parents' insistence that I go for my BBus graduation ceremony, there wouldn't even be photos of me wearing the customary robe and mortar board.

Even my SOL 1 & 2 graduation was meant for 2 groups of people only: cell & family (obviously no one knew that, because I didn't tell them!).


And giving a speech or testimony on stage is a different thing altogether, so let's not go there, okay?


I have news: Will be participating in another graduation ceremony tomorrow morning.

And I'm only doing this because my study group friends want to graduate together.

Aih....grin only lah.

*Maggie prays hard for smooth flow of events i.e. no tripping, giggling, etc*

Twin Meet

Lynn & I had lunch today with Rich & Jas and their twin girls, JL & JY.

Feel so happy, I could burst from joy! :D

A Toast

Had another spell of panic attack after this, and it admittedly affected the presentation of my speech projects nos. 7 and 8.

My wonderful, supportive and caring Toastmasters friends noticed immediately.

And they propped me up with positive and helpful comments, cheerful jokes, and words of encouragement.

I love my Toasties so very much. n_n

Team 3

T3, not Tea Tree oil. ;)

I feel happy and blessed that I am surrounded by wonderful and loving friends in the usher team. Even though I'm currently in and out of action, they still come over to greet me and crack their usual jokes. :)

Happy Happy. n_n